Mistake # 2 Not thinking hard enough about what YOU want in a law firm.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been exploring some of the most common — and costly — mistakes I see women lawyers making on their path to partnership. Last week, I spoke about the importance of understanding why you want to become a partner. This week, I want to go a layer deeper and ask you: have you taken the time to define what you want in a law firm?

Because here’s what I see far too often: brilliant, capable women staying stuck in firms that are "good enough" — simply because they can’t imagine anything else. They believe the only way to become a partner is within the walls of their current firm. And so they stay — often because they’re getting positive feedback, or because it’s familiar, or because they’ve internalized the belief that this is just the way law is.

But here’s the truth: there isn’t one single way to practice law. And partnership isn’t just a promotion — it’s a commitment. Before you sign up for that journey, you owe it to yourself to ask some powerful questions. Because yes, you’re working hard to climb that ladder. But are you sure it’s leaning against the right wall?

Mistake #2: Not Defining What You Want in a Law Firm

One of the biggest patterns I notice in my coaching and in conversations at our Firm Women breakfasts is that women lawyers often haven’t taken the time to define what they actually want from a law firm.

Instead, they’re guided by external validation — what the firm says, what others praise, what looks good on paper. As lawyers, we're trained to be rational, logical, composed. But that training can also lead us to disconnect from our own emotional truth.

Are you listening to yourself?

Not what your firm wants. Not what your mentor wants. Not what your family expects. You.

What do you want?

Moving From Limitation to Possibility

I recently spoke with the former head of a major Paris-based law firm. She described the ongoing culture clash between European and US firms — particularly the pressure to mimic the relentless pace of American firms, where working until burnout is not only expected, it’s normalized.

One US lawyer I met hadn’t taken a holiday in nine years. In France, that’s unthinkable. But more importantly: is it even healthy?

For some people, the high-stakes, high-adrenaline, 24/7 environment is exciting and energizing. And if that’s your ideal? Then go for it.

But it’s not the only option.

My role as a coach is to help women step out of the assumption that there’s just one way to be a lawyer. Instead, I invite you to imagine new possibilities. And to start designing a path toward your ideal version of success.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Committing to Partnership

Before you take that next step — before you invest years of your life and energy pursuing partnership — spend some time reflecting on these questions:

• What gives you energy?
  Think about the moments when you feel most alive, engaged, and in flow. What are you doing?

• What exhausts you?
  Notice the tasks that drain you, that leave you depleted. What do they have in common?

• What would your ideal job look like?
  Do you love public speaking? Deep research? Client relationships? Negotiation? List the components of your perfect day.

• How does your work fit into your life?
  Are you making space for what matters most to you — relationships, health, rest, creativity?

• What kind of schedule do you want?
  Do you need structure and predictability? Or do you thrive on spontaneity?

• How important is salary — really?
  What do you need financially to support your life? And what role does financial security play in your sense of value or identity?

• What kind of culture do you want?
  Do you want to be in a high-pressure environment? A collaborative one? Do you value trust, vulnerability, respect?

What Else Is Possible?

Let me share a few alternative models I’ve come across — some from clients, others from inspiring law firms:

• A Monday morning check-in in a family law practice where everyone shares how they are — emotionally and personally — to build trust and adjust workloads accordingly.

• A firm that actively hires pregnant women and mothers with young children because they’ve seen how loyal, efficient, and focused these women are — resulting in lower turnover and higher performance.

• A practice that moved to a 4-day week and saw profitability increase by 12%, because it created space for life — doctors' appointments, school meetings, rest.

• A team that shares responsibility during the partnership journey: when one lawyer is preparing their business case, the others step in to support, trusting that their turn will come too.

• Leaders who practice vulnerable leadership: sharing what went wrong, what they learned, and modelling that you can be both strong and human.

• Firms that lean into conflict rather than ignoring it — using disagreement as a chance for transformation, deeper understanding, and unexpected solutions.

You Deserve to Dream

So let me ask you again: are you choosing partnership — or are you settling for the only option you can currently see?

Don’t let external validation, habit, or fear dictate your path. Start imagining what else is possible.

And if you need support to clarify that vision, I’ve just launched my Partnership Evaluation Hour — a focused 60–90 minute session where we assess where you are across the key capabilities for partnership: from leadership and confidence to client development and financial fluency. You’ll come away with clear insight and a map of where to grow.

I’m also sharing a free guide to the six mistakes women lawyers make on the road to partnership — it’s linked in the comments below.

Until next week, keep dreaming, questioning, and trusting that your version of success is not only possible — it’s worth pursuing.

Warmly,
Cecilia Poullain