Podcast Ep.18: Becoming a Partner Before You're Promoted: A Roadmap for Women Lawyers

There is a moment I often witness when working with women lawyers. You meet someone who is undeniably talented. Intelligent. Technically brilliant. Respected by clients and colleagues alike. And yet something is holding her back.

Not a lack of ability.

Not a lack of work ethic.

Usually, it is the way she sees herself.

I once worked with a lawyer who had been practising for more than twenty years without making partner. She was exceptional at what she did. But she moved through the firm almost apologetically. She avoided taking up space. She let others speak first. Her body language projected hesitation rather than authority.

And unfortunately, law firms notice that.

If you want to make partner, you need to start acting like a partner long before the promotion arrives. People need to be able to imagine you in that role. If they cannot already see you operating at that level, it becomes much harder for them to picture you there in the future.

This does not mean becoming arrogant or performative. It does not mean pretending to be someone you are not. It means beginning to think, behave, and lead in ways that show you are already taking ownership of your career and your place within the firm.

Think Like a Partner

Partners do not simply complete work. They think about the bigger picture.

They notice what is not working. They look for opportunities. They consider how to improve the team, strengthen client relationships, or contribute to the culture of the firm.

Ask yourself:

What could be done better here?

What conversations are not being had?

What initiative could I take?

Sometimes the smallest suggestion can completely change how people perceive you. After the pandemic, one of my clients noticed that a regular team breakfast had quietly disappeared. She remembered how valuable those meetings had been and asked whether she could organise them again.

In practice, this took her about fifteen minutes. Her assistant handled the logistics. But the important thing was not the breakfast itself. It was the fact that she had identified a need and stepped forward with a solution.

That is how partners think.

Stop Waiting for Permission

One of the clearest differences between lawyers who make partner and those who stay stuck is proactivity.

The women I know who are destined for partnership all have one thing in common. As my father used to say, they have their hands on the steering wheel.

They are not waiting to be discovered.

They are not hoping someone will manage their career for them.

They are taking responsibility for where they are going.

That might mean organising client events, building relationships with potential clients, mentoring junior lawyers, proposing training initiatives, or investing in conferences and development opportunities themselves.

The existing partners are already asking themselves an important question:

What kind of partner will this person become?

Your current actions are answering that question every day.

Notice Where You Are Hiding

Many women lawyers unconsciously hide behind the partnership.

You may avoid speaking publicly because it feels uncomfortable. You may defer to others in meetings. You may stay silent at business lunches. You may hesitate to share your perspective because you are worried about being wrong.

These moments matter.

Not because you need to dominate every conversation, but because visibility matters in leadership.

Partnership requires presence.

The goal is not to become louder. The goal is to become more willing to participate fully.

Start by identifying the situations where you tend to shrink yourself. Then ask what skills or support would help you show up differently.

Growth rarely happens inside your comfort zone. But it also does not require overwhelming yourself. Often, small consistent steps are enough.

Learn From Women Partners

Observe the women partners around you carefully.

What do they do well?

How do they handle clients?

How do they speak in meetings?

What feels authentic and effective about the way they lead?

Equally important, what do they do that feels deeply uncomfortable or inauthentic to you?

You do not need to copy anyone exactly. The goal is to experiment and discover your own version of leadership.

I encourage women to pay particular attention to female role models because adopting traditionally masculine behaviours often backfires. Women who try too hard to mimic male codes of conduct are frequently perceived as inauthentic, even when the exact same behaviour is rewarded in men.

And beyond that, it is exhausting to perform a version of yourself that does not feel real.

Sustainable success comes from finding a style of leadership that genuinely fits you.

Confidence Is Communicated Physically

Whether we like it or not, people respond strongly to confidence.

And confidence is communicated long before you speak.

Your posture, your eye contact, your voice, your energy in the room all shape how others perceive you.

I once worked with an incredibly shy lawyer who hated public speaking. During one coaching session, I suggested that she experiment with embodying someone completely different when presenting. She chose the French politician Jean Luc Mélenchon.

The transformation was extraordinary.

Suddenly she used her hands. Her voice became stronger and more expressive. She moved confidently around the room. Most importantly, she began enjoying herself.

It was not about becoming someone else permanently. It was about discovering that confidence could be practised physically before it was fully felt internally.

Sometimes changing your body language changes your experience.

Get the Balance Right

There is an important nuance here.

Acting like a partner does not mean taking on everything.

It does not mean burning yourself out in pursuit of visibility.

It does not mean stepping on senior colleagues' toes or forcing yourself into situations that feel completely overwhelming.

The goal is strategic growth.

Choose initiatives that genuinely interest you. Focus on activities that increase your visibility and align with the career you want. Do fewer things, but do them well.

And remember that leadership often starts with ideas rather than execution. Sometimes simply suggesting something valuable is enough.

Partnership Does Not Require Perfection

Not every successful partner is charismatic or extroverted.

Some are quiet observers who speak only when they have something meaningful to contribute. Some lead through calmness, strategy, or emotional intelligence rather than force of personality.

There is no single correct way to be a partner.

But there is one common thread among women who succeed: they stop waiting for external validation before they begin seeing themselves as leaders.

They start before they feel fully ready.

And that shift changes everything.

So here is a question worth sitting with:

If you became partner tomorrow, what would your biggest priority for the firm be?

You do not need to act on the answer immediately.

But simply asking yourself the question begins training your mind to think differently.

To think like a partner.