Podcast Ep. 15: Mastering Panic: 3 Steps to Stay Calm Under Pressure as a Woman Lawyer
Let me start with something that might feel uncomfortably true.
You think you are afraid of being sued.
You think you are afraid of making a mistake.
But that is not what is really going on.
What you are actually afraid of is being found out.
Because being found out brings shame. And shame, for most of us, feels unbearable. It is that sinking, full body feeling that makes you want to disappear through the floor. In those moments, it does not feel like a professional inconvenience. It feels existential.
And that is what triggers panic.
A Moment I Will Never Forget
Early in my career, I was working in the Paris office of a US law firm on a high pressure transaction involving the sale of three factories across France and Germany. We had three weeks to negotiate and execute everything. It was intense, exhausting, and completely new to me.
A few days before closing, late at night, I could not find a crucial document. It was the one with the partner’s handwritten comments.
I searched everywhere. Every folder. Multiple times. Half an hour passed.
Nothing.
By the time I asked my assistant for help, I was in full panic mode. He walked in, opened the very first folder I had already checked several times, and there it was. Right on top.
I had not missed it because it was hidden.
I had missed it because I was panicking.
What Panic Actually Does to You
When you panic, your brain is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. You go into fight, flight, or freeze.
You stop thinking clearly.
You lose perspective.
You become reactive instead of strategic.
And in a profession like law, where clarity and judgment are everything, that is a dangerous place to be.
The irony is this. The moment when you most need to think well is the moment when panic makes that almost impossible.
So the question becomes how do you interrupt that pattern.
You Need a Panic Process
If you work in a high pressure environment, panic is not something you eliminate. It is something you prepare for.
You need a process you can rely on. Something you can return to every single time things go wrong so that instead of spiralling, you respond with clarity and control.
Here is what that looks like.
Step 1 Manage the Emotional Reaction
Before you solve the problem, you need to steady yourself.
This is the step most people skip. It is also why they make things worse.
Start here.
Name what is happening.
Say it to yourself. I am panicking.
It sounds simple, but it activates your rational brain and begins to pull you out of the emotional spiral.
Create distance.
Step away from your desk. Get a cup of tea. Walk around the block. Even a few minutes is enough to shift your perspective.
Breathe deliberately.
Slow, deep breaths, especially with a longer exhale, help move your body out of stress mode and into a calmer state.
You cannot think clearly until your nervous system settles. This step is essential.
Step 2 Normalise the Mistake
Once you have calmed down, remind yourself of something important.
Mistakes are normal.
Not because standards do not matter. They do. But because you are working in a high pressure, fast moving environment where perfection is unrealistic.
What matters is not whether a mistake happened.
What matters is how you respond to it.
Step 3 Generate Solutions Before You Speak
Now, and only now, do you move into problem solving.
Take a blank page and write down possible solutions. Do not judge them yet. Just get them out of your head and onto paper.
Then ask yourself
What are the next steps for each option
Who needs to be involved
In what order should I speak to them
Once you have explored your options, choose two or three viable paths forward.
Then have the conversation.
Why This Changes Everything
When you approach a partner or a client with both the problem and considered solutions
You save time and reduce cost
You come across as calm and capable
You shift the focus from blame to resolution
In other words, you start to look like someone ready for partnership.
If You Are Leading Others
There is another side to this.
One day, someone junior will walk into your office in full panic mode.
Your reaction matters more than you think.
The most effective thing you can do is not to take over but to guide them through the same process
Help them calm down
Help them regain perspective
Ask questions that lead them to solutions
This builds confidence, trust, and loyalty. And it creates stronger lawyers around you.
And just to be clear, do not throw anything at them.
This Is a Learnable Skill
Some people appear naturally calm under pressure.
But this is not an innate trait reserved for a lucky few.
It is a skill.
And like any skill, it improves with practice.
So try this process. Adapt it. Make it your own. Use it consistently.
Because things will go wrong. That is part of the job.
The difference is that next time, you will know exactly what to do.
And that changes not just how you perform but how you feel about your career.
You do not have to do this alone.
And you get to define success on your own terms.