You Can’t Make Partner by Playing It Safe

Too many brilliant, capable women lawyers are stuck in a pattern that’s quietly derailing their careers.

They come into the office early. They work hard. They rack up the billable hours. They take a quick lunch, keep their heads down, and finally leave late in the evening. And then—someone else makes partner. Someone less qualified. Someone less committed. Someone less excellent.

Why? Because that woman lawyer, despite all her effort, has stayed silent. She’s stayed invisible.

Hi, I’m Cecilia.

I work with women lawyers who want to become partners faster—and thrive once they get there. And today I want to talk to you about the fifth mistake I see women make on the pathway to partnership: staying silent, staying invisible, and hoping the work will speak for itself.

Let me be clear: it won’t.

In many jurisdictions, over half of law graduates are women. And yet, the further up the ladder you go, the more the numbers flip. 60–70% of senior associates are women—but 60–70% of partners are men.

There are a ton of reasons for that. But one of the most consistent and fixable? Women staying quiet. And that silence shows up in three ways.

1. Staying Silent in Meetings

You’ve probably felt it—the hesitation, the second-guessing. You sit in a meeting with something to say, and then you hold back. You tell yourself:

“What if it’s wrong?”
“What if they think I’m stupid?”
“What if I look like I don’t know what I’m talking about?”

I’ve been there. Years ago, working in a U.S. firm in Paris, I remember sitting in meetings terrified of saying the wrong thing. But here’s the truth: saying nothing is worse than saying the wrong thing. People are judging you anyway—they might as well judge you based on what you do say, not what you don’t.

Start by setting a small goal: speak once in every meeting. Then make it twice. Then three times. Speak early. It doesn’t have to be profound. Just show up. Let your voice be heard.

2. Forgetting You’re Part of a Community

So many women lawyers are excellent at their work—but they forget that law is not a solo sport.

You’re part of multiple communities: your team, your practice group, your office, the broader firm, even trade associations and networks outside the firm. But if you’re sitting in your office, quietly grinding through work, people begin to wonder:

“Why isn’t she connecting?”
“Why doesn’t she participate?”
“Is she even part of the team?”

You’re not just not contributing—you may be detracting. And yes, I hear this often:

“I hate politics.”
Here’s the reframe: It’s not politics—it’s connection. It’s humanity. It’s about letting people know who you are, and taking an interest in who they are.

If the other partners don’t know you—if they’ve never had a real conversation with you—why should they trust you to join them at the table?

3. Thinking the Work Will Speak for Itself

It won’t.

You need to advocate for yourself. You need to have conversations about your ambitions—and have them often. Not just once a year in an annual review.

You need to be telling people what you’ve done, what the results were, and what you want next. That’s not arrogance. That’s clarity.

If you’re not comfortable shouting about your work from the rooftops (and let’s be honest, most of us aren’t), start small. Share your wins with trusted colleagues. Practice stating your accomplishments with confidence. Let people know what you bring to the table.

What Visibility Looks Like in Practice

So what does it look like to stop being invisible?

• Speak up in meetings. Even if your voice shakes. Start early. Start small.

• Create community. Ask someone you admire for coffee. Host a casual breakfast with colleagues. Take the lead in building the relationships around you.

• Tell your story. Share what you’re working on. Advocate for your next step. Make your ambitions known.

If there’s a partner you want to connect with—but it feels awkward—don’t start with the most senior person. Start with someone closer to you. Build your circle gradually. Let that circle introduce you to others.

That’s how networks are built. That’s how trust grows. That’s how leadership starts.

What Will You Do This Week?

What’s one small step you can take this week to become more visible?

Because here’s the truth:

If your own firm doesn’t know who you are, how can they trust you to build client relationships outside the firm?

Law is a relationship business. Don’t let your brilliance stay hidden behind your billables.

This was the fifth mistake in my Six Mistakes Women Lawyers Make on the Pathway to Partnership series. If you’d like the full list, I’m dropping the link in the comments.

And next week, I’ll be back with the final one.

Until then—be bold, be visible, and take up space.

Warmly,
Cecilia