Sales Conversations for Women Lawyers
Last week, I had every intention of continuing with audio events, but as life would have it, LinkedIn has decided to pause that feature. So, here I am—back on LinkedIn Live—and I’m grateful you’re here with me.
Today, I want to talk about a subject that’s been coming up again and again in my coaching conversations with women lawyers: sales. Yes, sales. Not just the numbers, but the energy, the discomfort, the push-pull between confidence and credibility, between value and vulnerability.
Why Sales Conversations Feel So Difficult for Women Lawyers
Many of the women I work with tell me they find sales conversations confusing and even disempowering. They’re unsure of what tone to strike. If they come across too confidently, they worry they’re being “aggressive.” If they try to build rapport, they sometimes end up giving away too much value. And that tightrope walk can sometimes tip into trying to be likeable—even seductive—just to be heard.
It’s a painful truth: Women often feel they need to work harder to be seen as credible, and that challenge is amplified in sales conversations.
So today I want to offer you three practical strategies for navigating these moments with clarity, strength and authenticity.
1. The Classic Two-Phase Sales Conversation
There’s a tried-and-true sales structure that is surprisingly effective—especially when it’s aligned with your own natural empathy and insight.
It goes like this:
Phase One: Listen deeply.
Begin with a calm, open energy. Your job here is not to impress, but to understand. Ask thoughtful questions. Be genuinely curious about your client’s challenges. Let them talk. Mirror back what you’re hearing. “So what I’m hearing is that your biggest concern is X, Y and Z—have I got that right?”Phase Two: Shift your energy.
Once they confirm that you’ve fully understood their needs, it’s time to stand up taller—literally and metaphorically. This is when you switch to a more assertive energy. Speak clearly and confidently: “Given what you’ve shared, here’s what I believe you need. Here’s how I can help. This is what it will cost.”
This approach works so well because it builds trust first, then establishes authority. And women often excel at this kind of relational intelligence—if they give themselves permission to step into that final assertive phase with strength.
2. The Challenger Sale
This model, developed by Brent Adamson and Matthew Dixon, flips the first one on its head.
Instead of starting with questions, you start by demonstrating your expertise right out of the gate. You say something like:
“What we’re seeing in the market is X. Many clients in your position are struggling with Y. We believe that a better solution is Z.”
You’re not waiting to be asked—you’re positioning yourself as someone with unique insight. It’s a powerful way to convey credibility. And yes, it’s assertive. For many women, intentionally claiming this space can feel uncomfortable at first. But with practice, it can become a compelling way to lead.
Especially when you follow it up by inviting conversation: “Is that what you’re seeing as well?” This keeps the door open while still asserting your expertise.
And don’t shy away from objections. In fact, I encourage you to invite them. Say, “I know you’re talking to other law firms—what will help you decide?” or “Do you have any concerns about our approach?”
It’s brave. It’s direct. And it’s where trust is built.
3. Pre-Suasion: Shift the Frame Before You Even Begin
I recently read a fascinating book called Pre-Suasion, which explains how our minds are primed for certain decisions long before we consciously make them.
Here’s an example: When people are shopping in a wine store and French music is playing in the background, they’re significantly more likely to buy French wine. Why? Because their brain is already on a French track.
So how does that relate to sales for women lawyers?
Well, if you’re going into a sales conversation and you know that unconscious bias might be working against you, how can you gently shift the frame before you even begin?
A few ideas:
Use visual cues in your pitch materials. A subtle image of someone like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Christine Lagarde or another respected woman in law or leadership can help prime the client’s brain to associate you with credibility.
Acknowledge the elephant—gently. Something as subtle as, “As a woman in this space, I know we sometimes have to work twice as hard to prove our value. I’m happy to let my work speak for itself.” That one sentence can be enough to plant a seed.
Share a story. Stories are incredibly powerful. If you can include a brief case study of how you navigated a particularly challenging situation for a client, you’re both sharing your expertise and inviting empathy.
I’m still exploring how best to bring this idea into the sales room in a way that’s empowering but subtle. If you have ideas, I’d love to hear them.
In Summary
Sales doesn’t have to be scary—or manipulative. In fact, when done well, it’s an act of service. You’re saying: “I understand your problem. I know how to solve it. And I want to help.”
To recap:
Use the two-phase conversation: Listen deeply, then step into your power.
Try the Challenger approach: Lead with insight, and don’t be afraid to challenge.
Pre-suade with subtle signals: Shift the narrative before it begins.
Final Thoughts
If this resonates with you and you’re preparing for partnership—or have just stepped into it—I’m currently enrolling a few more women in my Pathway to Partnership program. It’s a 3-month journey for ambitious, thoughtful women lawyers who want to lead with impact without burning out. DM me if you’d like to chat.
And next week, I’ll be talking about something I feel very passionate about: how we can make law firms psychologically safer for junior lawyers. Because no young woman should be crying on her way to work.
Until then—trust yourself. Step into the room. And own your space.
Warmly,
Cecilia Poullain